Most of us, in our 30s, have SOME kind of sexual experience. But still, a certain anxiety or sexual shyness remains with intimate encounters for some of us. As someone who intends to go into the health and wellness field, I like to talk about women’s personal issues… a lot. Frankly, sex — and its “problems” — and women’s sexual inhibitions is something we don’t talk about enough. If you know me personally, you know that I am not embarrassed to talk about anything.
So… let’s talk about what’s holding you back in the bedroom.
Sexual Wellness Ambassador and relationship expert (and my professional role model) Dr. Yvonne Fulbright has some tips to overcome YOUR sexual shyness and have Better Sex in 2013 (I don’t know about you, but it’s definitely in my list of “intentions” for the year).
Tip 1: Analyze what’s holding you back so that you have a good sense – vs. a general sense – of the barriers you need to overcome in claiming your sexual self and sex life.
Tip 2: Knowledge is power. With a number of women insecure about their sexual expression because of ignorance, educate yourself on techniques, erogenous zones, modes of seduction… Read quality sex manuals to boost your confidence and expand your repertoire of ideas.
Tip 3: Determine if your issues require extra assistance. If, for example, you’re shy about sex because of religious upbringing or because you were violated, then working through such issues with a certified sex therapist or counselor will do you a world of good. You can find one in your area at: www.aasect.org.
Tip 4: Get to know yourself. It’s hard to express yourself or let a lover know your likes and what you want unless you take the time for self-exploration. Yes, we’re talking masturbation. Experiment with different sexual enhancements. Read erotica for inspiration. Flirt with different ways to get turned on, to seduce, and begin the process of foreplay. You will feel more self-assured in providing instruction, even if it’s non-verbal.
Tip 5: Boost your body image. For some, the biggest challenge to getting in a sexy state of mind is how a woman feels about her body. This also goes for those who seemingly have the “best” bodies. You can start feeling better about your form with regular exercise (as this has mental health perks as well), eating healthy meals, avoiding toxins, and shutting down negative self-talk. Do things that make you feel good about the skin you’re in, like yoga, getting a massage, or wearing clothes that feel like they were made for you.
Have your own questions? Ask sexpert Dr. Yvonne via Astroglide’s site. BONUS: Astroglide is giving away free samples to my 30-something readers!