At some point in a woman’s life, she will have an ultrasound. This is a common practice for pregnant women, but also to determine medical reasons why someone cannot conceive. But, as a non-child bearing (or desire to have them) lady, I never imagined that I’d be in that exam room… with a physician-assisted dildo up my birth canal.

Sure, I can make light of it now, given that there’s seemingly NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. But last week, when I (the doctor) was looking for answers. And I had NO idea what I was in for. Thankfully, a friend enlightened me to the words TRANSVAGINAL on my script. It means exactly what you think it means.

I had a series of tests: pelvic, hormonal blood work, pregnancy testing, and aforementioned ultrasound (two ways!) with no real answer. My “problem” is scanty or non-existing menstruation (My period has been irregular since fall 2011; only having one REAL period in August of this past year). Birth control could be to blame… inconclusive (until I decide if I want to “try” going off it to see if it is, in fact, a happy side effect.) I’ve been on some form of pill since I was 17 — this particular brand for almost 4 years — but then I started experiencing severe pain and pressure in my abdomen. Cramping with no bleeding. Really severe mood swings. I was scared… and after the appointment, depressed.

I can’t explain the depression, but was told from several people that it’s normal when anticipating test results. I’ve been in a certain funk and mood that still remains a week later. I’m talking it out with my significant other, which helps to have someone listen to me vent and ramble (oh, I’m sure he appreciates hearing ALL about the random ways my body hates me… not). But I’m still struggling to understand WHY or WHAT I’m feeling.

We don’t talk enough about the difficulties and emotions associated with infertility and menstruation disruption or possible early menopause that all sadly occur to many 30-somethings. WHY DON’T WE?! I’d really appreciate some of your thoughts and feelings in the comments, so we all can commiserate about our experiences and emotions in one place.

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  • themoderngal

    What, you mean we can have ultrasounds even without the desire to get pregnant? Damnit, that’s one of the things I was hoping to avoid. Sorry to hear about your troubles and the depression. I hope they both subside. And a hearty “preach it” to talking about these things more and more. It seems like reproductive system problems are super-common — based on how many people I know who’ve had such problems — and yet you’d hardly ever know. Why is that??

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  • Angela

    Hi there! So I too had to have one of those transvaginal ultrasounds and not for anything I wanted (ie a baby). I had an ovarian cyst back in 2004. I had gone off of the pill and onto the patch and my OBGYN said that sometimes that change (in hormone levels etc) can cause a cyst. They were able to find it but couldn’t do much for me-until the M’fer BURST…then the ER was able to give me some big time drugs cause it was most painful. Ugghh-being a woman.
    I also have been on the pill more than 1/2 my life-except for the brief change to the patch- I’ve never been off it. My periods are pretty non-existent (no tampons or pads needed). I kinda know it’s come but it doesn’t stay longer than a day. When I first realized this was happening I went straight to the doc too but she said it was kinda normal and that I should count my blessings…as so many other women suffer with craxy heavy flows and mood swings. She knows my life plan doesn’t include a child (for now anyway-and I’m getting ready to turn 36 in March) but never brought up that I might be early menapausal.
    I actually am taking a short break from being on the pill-not for the sake of kid havin’ but just to see if I feel different-my moods, body etc. Haven’t noticed a big change although my recent period was much more noticable and my ovaries were definitely telling me it was here. I hope you can shake your funk-I don’t think it being January and winter and super cold (at least where I am) helps with the “funks” but talking about it might and shopping…buying something pretty always helps me happy. :) Cheers! Angela (aka @rdheadedblndrva)

    • Mel

      Thanks for your comment, Angela. I can’t imagine having a cyst like that. OUCH! I hope that your pill cessation finds the cause of your problems — I’m happy that I’m on one that, for the most part, has gelled with my body. But who knows… maybe it’s changing me? Hmm.